O Passengers of the long journey! Do not get upset by the roughness of the path...: Marriage: A Mighty Test.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Marriage: A Mighty Test.

Yahya ibn Yayha an Naysaboori said:

I was with Sufyan ibn ‘Uyaynah when a man approached him and said: “O Abu Muhammad, I came to complain to you about my wife, I am the most lowly and disliked of things to her.”

Sufyan remained silent for a while and then said: “It may be that you were only interested in her to increase yourself in honor.” The man said: “Yes, O Abu Muhammad.”

Sufyan said: “Whoever seeks honor [by marrying a woman] will be tested with lowliness, and whoever seeks wealth [by marrying a woman] will be tested with poverty, but whoever looks for righteousness [in a woman], then Allah would combine both honor and wealth with righteousness for him in her.”

He then told him a story, he said: “We were four brothers; Muhammad, Imran, Ibraheem and me. Muhammad was the oldest, Imran was the youngest and I was in between. When Muhammad wanted to get married, he was interested in lineage, so he married a woman of better lineage than him, so Allah tested him with lowliness. ‘Imran was interested in wealth, so he married a woman who was wealthier than him, so Allah tested him with poverty. They took his wealth and didn’t give him anything.

So I pondered over their affair. Ma’mar ibn Rashid traveled to us so I spoke to him about the affair and told him of their story. He reminded me of the Ahadeeth that ‘A-isha and Yahya ibn Ja’dah narrated.

As for Ja’dah’s Hadeeth; the Prophet - صلى الله عليه وسلم - said: “A woman is married for four reasons: righteousness, lineage, wealth and beauty. Marry the one with righteousness and you will be successful.”

‘A-isha’s Hadeeth is as follows; the Prophet - صلى الله عليه وسلم – said:

“The woman with the greatest blessing is the one with the least Mahr [dowry]”

So I chose righteousness and a small dowry, following the Sunnah of the Messenger - صلى الله عليه وسلم – so Allah combined honor, wealth and righteousness for me [in my wife].”

Al Hafidh al Mizzi states in Tahdeeb al Kamaal: 11/194

The one who marry someone just because of money is a miser,the one who marry someone just because of status is proud.The one who marry someone just because of beauty is a fool.The only one who marry someone just because of piety is wise & nice.~Hamid

2 comments:

aneebaba said...: Ma'sha'allah, what a lovely lesson. Jazak'Allahu Khairan bro.; Friday, November 05, 2010
Hamid said...: I was amazed totally when i read the story.Indeed intention plays a big role in everything we do.; Monday, November 08, 2010

Let's go!

Even though a fan is switched off, it continues spinning for a few seconds thereafter. Likewise, we may come to the Masjid, but our minds may still be 'spinning' with the Dunya, our work, concerns etc. That is why it is advisable for us to come early to the Masjid, reply to the Athaan, perform our Sunnah and Nawaafil and engage in Dua prior to the Fardh- all to allow the 'spinning' to abate and totally disconnect our minds from the world in preparation for our meeting with Allah SWT in the Jamaah Salaah

Destined to Dominate.

Thousands of books were written against Islam, thousands of websites are run against Islam, thousands of people are paid to distort Islam, thousands of writers are trained to write against Islam, millions of dollars are spent against Islam. Had 50% of the above attempts been done against any religion than Islam, it would have disappeared from this planet. Islam is backed by God-Allah Himself, that is the reason, despite all these attempts, it's still growing.~Abu Talha.......It is He who sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth to manifest it over all religion, although those who associate others with Allah dislike it.Quran#61:9).

World renowned scholar

Be Careful! O my eyes...

Whenver the eye looks at something forbidden, a knot of desire is tied in the person’s heart, and that knot will only be untied by one of two conditions: either by weeping out of grief and regret in true repentance, or by taking possession of what one desired and looked at. And if a person takes possession unjustly, without repentance, then that will take him to the Fire. As for the one who repents of it with grief and regret, his abode is the Garden and his destiny is Allah’s favour.~Hazrath Jafar sadiq (r)

Tears of Taubah.

Sincere, heartfelt, deliberate repentance is the only thing that wipes out past disobediences to Allah, and it has to be accompanied by severe, humbling regret and remorse, coupled with seeking Allah’s pardon through dhikr (remembrance by the tongue), salah,sadaqah/charity, (preferably) crying or sobbing with tears of regret, and last but not least, rushing forth in obligatory and voluntary good deeds as compensation, to appease Allah’s wrath and attain His pleasure. Repentance, when sincere, can wipe out one’s past sins not just from one’s book of records, but also from the hearts, minds and memories of people who witnessed that sin.~Sister Sadaf Farooqi

A Strange Stranger.

Love, a fragile emotion yet most powerful.

Love sign !

"Love has certain signs which the intelligent man quick detects and the shrewd man readily recognizes.Of these the first is the brooding gaze:The eye is the widest gateway of the soul,the scrutinizer of its secrets,conveying its most private thoughst and giving expression to its deepest-hiddedn feelings. You will see the lover gazing at the beloved unblinkingly; his eyes follow the loved one's every moment, withdrawing as she withdraws, inclining as she inclines, just as the chameleon's stare shifts with the shifting of the sun"~Ibn hazam in his book Tawq al-Hamamah

Bury your worry

My heart is so small it’s almost invisible. How can You place such big sorrows in it? “Look,” He answered, “your eyes are even smaller, yet they behold the world.” ~ Maulana Rumi . This quote reminds me of Allah’s promise to us in the Majestic Qu’ran: “Allah does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear: in his favour shall be whatever good he does, and against him whatever evil he does. O our Sustainer! Take us not to task if we forget or unwittingly do wrong! “O our Sustainer! Lay not upon us a burden such as Thou didst lay upon those who lived before us! [2:286] “Truly amazing is the believer’s affair. Everything transpiring in his life is good for him. This is something that only occurs for the believer. If a blessing is his lot, he gives thanks for it, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with hardship, he patiently endures it, and this is good for him.” ~Prophet of Peace (pbuh)

Heed the words.

Awaken, oh sleepy ones, awaken from your heedlessness. The akhirah awaits us, death is coming, our graves are ready and our judgment is impending. Our destinations are unknown, so we must strive ever more so towards a good end and race towards the Pleasure of Allaah. And let us heed the words of ‘Ali radiAllaahu ‘anhu, in which he said: “The world has departed behind you and ahead of you is the Hereafter. Both of them have children, so be the children of the Hereafter and do not be the children of this world. Today is the day of action with no judgment and tomorrow is the Day of judgment with no action” [Hilyatul Awliyaa]

What's Love ?

Love is the rank for which people compete; they long to learn about what it entails and they yearn to attain it; it is the provision for the hearts; the food of the souls; the joy of people's lives; the illumination of their minds; the foremost objective in life and the essence of existence. Love of Allaah is life itself, and to be deprived of it entails a terrible death; it is the light without which one would sail in a sea of darkness; it is the cure without which one's heart will be overwhelmed by a multitude of diseases; it is the joy without which one will remain in permanent grief; it is the essence of faith and deeds, without which they become like a soulless body.~Al Bousseeri.

Words of Sheik Al-Arifi.

1) Indeed Allah has honored man,but this does not give him an excuse to oppress the rest of his creatures.(2) Treat people humanly,irrespective of their appearance,wealth and status.(3) Be like a bee that seeks out the scent and ignores the filth and do not be like a fly that sucks out the bloody wounds.(5) Perhaps just a smile at a poor man would raise you in rank in the sight of Allah.(6) A child is like soft clay that we shape according to our treatment of it.(7) Whoever consider exercising good manners as a worship will deal courteously with everyone, be he rich or poor, a manager or a tea-boy~Taken from his Internationally famous book 'Enjoy Your Life'

Turner of Hearts

Anas (r) narrated that asking for a firm and obedient heart was one of the constant supplications of the Prophet (peace be upon him); and one narration from Umm Salamah states that the Du’a he made the most was: “Allahumma ya Muqallib Al-Quloob thabbit qalbi ‘alaa Deenik,” which means, “O Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your Religion.” There is, however, another authentic Du’a narrated in Sahih Muslim that isn’t as well-known: “Allahumma Musarrif Al-Quloobi Sarrif Quloobana ‘Ala Ta’atika,” which means, “O Allah, Turner of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience.”

Harden Heart

The slave is not afflicted with a punishment greater than the hardening of the heart and being distant from Allah. For the Fire was created to melt the hardened heart. The most distant heart from Allah is the heart which is hardened. If the heart becomes hardened, the eye becomes dry. If four matters are exceeded in quantity, beyond what is necessary, the heart shall become hardened: Food, sleep, speech and sexual intercourse. A body afflicted by disease does not derive nourishment from food or water, similarly a heart diseased by desire does not benefit from admonishment or exhortation.~Ibn Qayyim.

Shun your tension.

Some eyes are restless whilst others are in sleep In meditating that which may or may not occur , So leave the worrying as much as possible As carrying the burdens of anxiety is madness .There is your Lord, who provided you with the solutions to yesterday And He will similarly provide for what is to come today.Let events flow in their predestined path And do not sleep except with a clear mind .Between the period of a blinking of an eye and it’s opening Allah changes things from one state to another - Aidh al qarni

Life is really Fair ...

Life is always fair, and the reason for that is the hereafter. For anyone who believes in the hereafter will realize that every hardship will hit a dead end. And that dead end will have a door, beyond the door is the reward. When one accepts fate, situations, hardships, pain, they have already passed 50% of the trial by accepting it. Then it’s about getting through it. Knowing that Allah is the only one who can give it and also clear us of it will make us turn to Him and then we will find is so much easier. What makes it hard is the fact that we think “life isn’t fair”, “why me?” “why do i deserve this?” etc. We are tiny tiny creations and we can NEVER question our Lord. - Br. Yasin

Read, Re-Read & Reflect.

Do not be sad if you were born black and poor. It's not your mistake nor of your creator's, but it's just a matter of test for you and do not be proud of yourself if you were born white and rich.It's not your greatness nor of your father's, but it's just a matter of test for you too.Death will be the final measure of you both.Remember that neither every bounty is a blessing nor every pain is a punishment for Allah(swt) send some blessings as pain and some pain as blessings in disguised form.So Wipe your tears,think well of your Lord,and chase away your worries by remembering the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you.Don't you think that this world is ever perfect for anyone . There is no one on the face of this earth who gets all what he wants or is free from all kinds of distress.~Inner voice.

Permanent changes.

My personal experiences suggest that by constantly pressurising a child and by constantly telling him where he is wrong,you only dent his self-image.This approach does not make anybody better.It only make them worse.Encouraging the positive side of a person,appreciating even the slightest of improvements in him, a soft hand on his shoulders, a gentle pat on his back, and little words of motivation will be the sure fireways to support any child.With this approach,even if the changes are slow,they will be lasting,permanent changes.~Voice of love

Irrefutable Truth

Know that Allah has made Islam the most sublime path for attainment of his supreme pleasure and the highest standards of his worship and obedience.He has favoured it with noble precepts,exalted principles,undoubtable arguments,unchallengable supremacy and undeniable wisdom.It is up to you to maintain the eminence and dignity granted to it by the lord,to follow it sincerly,to do justice to its articles of faith and belief,to obey implicity its tenets and orders and to give it the proper place in your lives.-Ali(r).There can be no Islam without unity.No unity without leadership and no leadership without obediance(Umar Ibn khattab).

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Marriage: A Mighty Test.

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