Thursday, October 21, 2010

Marriage: A Mighty Test.




Yahya ibn Yayha an Naysaboori said: 

I was with Sufyan ibn ‘Uyaynah when a man approached him and said: “O Abu Muhammad, I came to complain to you about my wife, I am the most lowly and disliked of things to her.” 
Sufyan remained silent for a while and then said: “It may be that you were only interested in her to increase yourself in honor.” The man said: “Yes, O Abu Muhammad.” 

Sufyan said: “Whoever seeks honor [by marrying a woman] will be tested with lowliness, and whoever seeks wealth [by marrying a woman] will be tested with poverty, but whoever looks for righteousness [in a woman], then Allah would combine both honor and wealth with righteousness for him in her.” 

He then told him a story, he said: “We were four brothers; Muhammad, Imran, Ibraheem and me. Muhammad was the oldest, Imran was the youngest and I was in between. When Muhammad wanted to get married, he was interested in lineage, so he married a woman of better lineage than him, so Allah tested him with lowliness. ‘Imran was interested in wealth, so he married a woman who was wealthier than him, so Allah tested him with poverty. They took his wealth and didn’t give him anything. 

So I pondered over their affair. Ma’mar ibn Rashid traveled to us so I spoke to him about the affair and told him of their story. He reminded me of the Ahadeeth that ‘A-isha and Yahya ibn Ja’dah narrated. 

As for Ja’dah’s Hadeeth; the Prophet - صلى الله عليه وسلم - said: “A woman is married for four reasons: righteousness, lineage, wealth and beauty. Marry the one with righteousness and you will be successful.” 

‘A-isha’s Hadeeth is as follows; the Prophet - صلى الله عليه وسلم – said: 
“The woman with the greatest blessing is the one with the least Mahr [dowry]” 

So I chose righteousness and a small dowry, following the Sunnah of the Messenger - صلى الله عليه وسلم – so Allah combined honor, wealth and righteousness for me [in my wife].”

Al Hafidh al Mizzi states in Tahdeeb al Kamaal: 11/194

The one who marry someone just because of money is a miser,the one who marry someone just because of status is proud.The one who marry someone just because of beauty is a fool.The only one who marry someone just because of piety is wise & nice.~Hamid

2 comments:

MuslimFirst said...

Ma'sha'allah, what a lovely lesson. Jazak'Allahu Khairan bro.

Hamid said...

I was amazed totally when i read the story.Indeed intention plays a big role in everything we do.

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